No, Ringo, No!

Posted Fri, 5/21/2010 by Dave

In 1969, rumors began circulating that Paul McCartney, vocalist and bass guitar player for the Beatles, was dead. Conspiracy theorists and Beatles aficionados alike scoured their records for hidden messages–the lyrics from “A Day in the Life,” sound effects from “Revolution 9,” the album cover to “Abbey Road.” Eventually, fervent speculation was quelled when McCartney gave an interview. But the truth…was never uncovered.

Paul McCartney was dead. So were George Harrison and John Lennon. They were killed…by Ringo Starr.

And, true to the myth, Ringo had cunningly hidden clues in the Beatles songs. But they were songs no one suspected. “Here, There and Everywhere” (where Ringo disposed of the bodies.) “Why Don’t We Do It In the Road?” (the murder plot, condensed.) “Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey” (a double red-herring for the most intrepid clue-seekers. Both, in fact, had something to hide–but only the monkey would attract even a modicum of suspicion for his involvement.)

But no one would ever discover the entire truth of that disastrous day’s events, concealed in an innocuous song believed to be intended for children. No one, until now.

He knows where you’ve been

Posted Fri, 5/21/2010 by Joe

Dave and I have had fevered debates on Beatles Conspiracy Theory in the past, culminating in this comic. Whatever theory you follow, I think we can all agree that offing John first was the right idea. The man was an enormous liability.

For those of you who like looking at big pictures… here’s a higher-res version of today’s strip!